With Oaks first Birthday fast approaching, I thought it would be a perfect time to get something up on here!
The last year has been one hell of a ride and my god, doesn’t it go fast! I swear that 9 months of pregnancy lasts about 7 years, but the first year of your babies life goes by in 10 seconds flat! I’m in absolute disbelief that my baby, my tiny 7lbs 4oz baby is a whole year, 365 days old next week. MENTAL! People tell you to treasure every second because it flies by, but I never thought it would go by THAT fast. I still remember the days leading up to Oaks birth like they were yesterday. I would give anything to go back and relive it. It was for sure, the most amazing experience of my life and I feel so lucky for it to all have gone the way it did.Nothing prepares you for how emotional it is, the days leading up to a babies first birthday. I mean, it’s inevitably going to happen, but when it’s your little baby it’s hard and I never thought it would be this hard!
Oakley was wanted for so so long, we were adamant we wouldn’t be able to have children. I had been on the pill for almost 10 years and I just knew something would be wrong… I came off the pill almost 2 years before conceiving Oaks. In that time we accepted that if a baby happens a baby happens, we were okay with that.A year went by and nothing happened, I might just add, we weren’t exactly trying for a baby, I came off the pill to give my body a chance to sort itself out and so when we did want to start trying for a baby, it wouldn’t take us years. Anyway, a year past and nothing. We weren’t sad about this, as like I said weren’t trying. There were a couple of times when we thought I might have been pregnant, but they were just false alarms. As the year went on it really started to bother me… I did want a baby, but I wasn’t dead set on it. It came to Christmas 2017 and we both decided that if I hadn’t fallen pregnant by the following March, then we would do and see the Doctor. And that was the last Christmas we spent as a couple. I ended up doing a pregnancy test on New Year’s Eve, but of course it came back negative. I was heartbroken, I really really thought that was it. As the week went on I found myself feeling as if I was about to have a period. I had all the normal signs, tummy ache, sore boobs.. ache legs… the days went by and no period. I decided that I would do another test, just to rule out that I was pregnant… I went down to Boots on my lunch break at work and bought one, went into the toilet, peed on the stick and shoved it into my bag and headed back to work. By the time I’d gotten back to work I’d forgotten it was in there, I pulled it out and OMG the words were there “pregnant” FUCK!
I literally could not believe my eyes. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was certainly in shock. I took a picture of the test and sent it straight to Nathan. His reaction was what I expected, it was a massive surprise to both of us… He freaked out, but after a bit of time he was happy and excited to become a daddy!
As the months went by we both became more and more excited for Oaks arrival, those 9 months went bloody slow! But the time finally came for him to come. At 6.56pm on 17th October Oakley James Frederick Cottenham was born. I finally felt that space in my heart, that I never knew existed was full. I felt complete. I had never felt love like I did when I held my baby for the first time. Nothing in the world prepares you for that feeling.
This past year of watching Oaks grow have been the most amazing, hardest and craziest of my life, but I wouldn’t change a single second for the whole world. He saved me when I didn’t know I needed it. If it wasn’t for Oaks, I wouldn’t be here. We are both so incredibly proud of Oaks, I cant even begin to explain it. As much as I cannot wait to see the little person he continues to grow into, I wish he would stay my little baby boy always.
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